Ka-Blog!

Who did not imagine themselves as superheroes when they were kids?  I did.  I didn’t care for the underwear they wore outside their tights but I dreamt of saving damsels in distress with names and faces that corresponded with whoever I had a crush on at the time.  But those were the times when comic superheroes were ordinary, unlike the new-breeds like Spawn or Andy Capp.

     In my weng-weng moments I still catch myself thinking what I would do to this country’s traditional politicians or the imperialists if I were The Flash or The Invisible Man.  But there are no toxic spiders or mutant genes to make me one, are there?

     So, like the rest of humanity, we get our kicks by reading and collecting comic books.  Through our superheroes, we live our impossible dreams and put right the wrongs of this world. 

     I did not and do not collect comic books like Ina Silverio or Nato Reyes for the simple reason that my budget then and now is just enough for Pinoy Funny Comics—you know, the local one on newsprint with Planet of the Apes as its most popular feature.  I do not have relatives to send me some like Tonyo Cruz.  What I have though is this all-color anthology I unearthed in some book sale some years ago.  It presents in a rough chronological order the last century’s most popular comics.  Wala sila nito.

     Following are what this book has listed down as the most popular comics and superheroes:

1. The Yellow Kid & Buster Brown—“It blazed the path that a century of creators followed.”
2. The Katzenjammer Kids—“…two incorrigible mishief-makers who lived to bedevil their American-German mother…”
3. Foxy Grandpa—the grandfather who “invariably outwitted them (his grandkids).”
4. Little Nemo in Slumberland—Lahlee Taguba, Vince Borneo and Mao Hermitanio’s idol; finds adventure in sleeping.
5. Mutt and Jeff—Bayang Karerista’s role models
6. Bringing Up Father—a comic strip all children with fathers can relate to.
7. Krazy Kat—before Felix, Heathcliff and Garfield, there was this cat.
8. The Gumps—started as a cartoon about a goat; pioneered the four frame strip.
9. Gasoline Alley—as old and as historical as Henry Ford’s Model T.
10. Ripley’s Believe It or Not—created when Ripley hit a slump and the deadline’s near.
11. Barney Google & Snuffy Smith—originally about a henpecked husband; nothing to do with the search engine.
12. Thimble Theatre starring Popeye—made eating vegetables and having a slang cool.
13. Winnie Winkle—about the plight of the working girl post World War I.  Post WWII, however, “working girl” had another meaning altogether.
14. Dick Tracy—because he is such a good and dashing detective, we forgive him his yellow trench coat.
15. Flash Gordon—c’mon.  sing it: “Flash!  A-haah! Savior of the Universe!”
16. Fritzi Ritz/Nancy—naalala ko si Sally Cariño.  Hahahaha!
17. Tailspin Tommy—the most popular aviation strip ever.
18. Skippy—a ten year old morose philosopher.
19. Wash Tubbs/Captain Easy—first serious strip on investigative adventure instead of humor.
20. Joe Palooka—before Manny Pacquiao, there was Joe Palooka.
21. Buck Rogers—without him, there might not have been a Flash Gordon, a Star Wars or Star Trek.
22. Tintin—a young brash reporter who rarely delivered the news (parang ako nung rumaraket ako sa dyaryo. Hahaha!)
23. Blondie—responsible for introducing the Dagwood sandwich to American culture.
24. Alley Oop—it’s not about the acrobatic basketball maneuver; it’s about a caveman who most NBA players essentially are anyway (who d’man?)
25. Mandrake the Magician—who pales grandly compared to how Tongressmen in this country pop out legal justifications for their con-ass.
26. Terry and the Pirates—far away places, adventures, pretty girls and humor.
27. Li’l Abner—“finally married Daisy Mae on March 29, 1952.”
28. Mary Worth—“a mature woman reduced by the stock market crash of 1929 to selling apples on New York streets.”
29. Little Lulu—a classic example of kid comic.
30. The Phantom—the environmentalist
31. Prince Valiant—who grew old and became a grandfather.
32. The Lone Ranger—with Tonto inspired “Brokeback Mountain.”
33. The Sandman—latest reinterpretation was by Neil Gaiman!
34. The Human Torch—originally a synthetic man.
35. The Submariner—half-human, half merman
36. The Blue Beetle—the most unkillable character in comics-dom.
37. The Shield—the first patriotic superhero
38. Hawkman—actually inspired by a bird collecting twigs to build a nest!
39. The Flash—Mercury Drug’s mascot (kahit matagal bumili ng gamot sa kanilang botika!)
40. Captain Marvel—the world mightiest mortal: Shazam!
41. The Spirit—whose precinct is located underneath his tombstone.
42. The Shadow—two guns?  Rock and Roll!
43. Brenda Starr, Reporter—soapy
44. The Justice Society of America—the first superhero team, which became the Justice League and later Superfriends.
45. Green Lantern—the good version of Frodo’s ring.
46. The Atom—a powerful five-foot hero.
47. Walt Disney’s Comics—my favorite is Donald.
48. Blackhawk—about a crack squadron
49. Plastic Man—Vic Sotto? Not!
50. Archie Andrews—the quintessential American teenager and his gang
51. The Newsboy Legion/Boy Commandos—British heroes naman, for a change.
52. Crime Does Not Pay—“All true crime stories”
53. Sad Sack Sarge—His greatest battles lay in fighting Army rules and red tape.  (My kind of hero.)
54. Young Romance—Hey, superheroes do fall in love sometimes.
55. Willie and Joe—“…revealed the grim, soul-draining reality of war.” (if soldiers fight for wars of aggression, that is.)
56. Tarzan—cheetah’s daddy-o and Jane’s papa.  (He had a son named Korak.)
57. Two-Gun Kid—the gun-toting American version of Zorro.

58. Casper The Friendly Ghost—cute, babyish.  Very unlike the Scottish Banshee.

59. Adventures into the Unknown—“Ano ang nasa dako pa roon?  Aawuuuuu!

60. Superman—yes, he with undies outside his trousers.

61. Batman—he once slugged it out with Superman in “The Dark Knight Returns.”
62. Captain America—Uncle Sam’s anti-Hitler propaganda machine for kids.
63. Wonder Woman—first woman superhero;  originally wore a star-spangled skirt
64. Pogo—its creator was anti-McCarthy. (Bravo!)
65. Strange Adventures—the original “Planet of the Apes.”
66. Bettle Bailey—everything that Lance Corporal Daniel J. Smith isn’t—the rapist!
67. Peanuts—sold lots of Hallmark cards!
68. Tales from the Crypt—very entertaining, before its tv version introduced the irritating narrator.
69. Weird Science—comics for geeks
70. Dennis the Menace—when first released in England, it had the title “The Pickle.”
71. House of Mystery—House of Representatives regarding its turon budget?
72. Two-Fisted Tales—it’s about war, not boxing
73. MAD—heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh!
74. Richie Rich—who grew up to become Mark Jimenez?
75. Mighty Mouse—the first comics in 3-D
76. Turok—Son of Stone; not “turok para stoned, pah-reh!”
77. The Brave and the Bold—“dinosaur-fighting WWII veterans.” Huh?
78. Dondi—“Have orphan, will travel.”
79. Challengers of the Unknown—the blueprint of the later “Fantastic Four.”
80. Legion of Superheroes—featuring the also superheroes.
81. BC—cave men commenting on modern men.
82. Strange Worlds—with outlandish titles to boot (Fin Fang Foom)
83. Sgt. Rock—“…the sergeant generals want to be.”
84. The Fly—an insect superhero
85. Captain Atom—created by Spiderman’s creator
86. Asterix—who convinced the world that a French man could be funny too.
87. Metal Men—were later made human to stimulate sales.
88. The Astonishing Ant-Man—takes serum to shrink him into insect size
89. The Incredible Hulk—the pogi who becomes pangit when he becomes a superhero.
90. The Mighty Thor—whose patron saint is St.Joseph the Carpenter.
91. Little Annie Fanny—if you know who she is, you’re a naughty boy!
92. Andy Capp—comics-dom’s most politically incorrect hero.
93. Magnus, Robot Fighter—made robots look sexy.
94. Iron Man—the original cyborg.
95. Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos—another GI Joe rag.
96. Modesty Blaise—originally rejected as inappropriate for family newspapers.
97. The Doom Patrol—the world’s strangest superheroes team.
98. Dr. Strange—mysticism and interdimensional traveler.
99. The Avengers—first assembled to take on The Hulk (loko itong mga ito a!)
100. Daredevil—the man without fear and sight.
101. Creepy—no, JDV was not part of the group, despite his droopy look and dumbo ears.
102. Barbarella—was intentionally drawn to look like Brigitte Bardot.
103. Teen Titans—bida naman si Robin dito for a change.
104. Enemy Ace—the first anti-hero hero.
105. T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents—superheroes who were secret agents.
106. The Silver Surfer—who stands and flies on a planggana.
107. Zap Comix—the first significant underground comic book.
108. The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers—“the joker, the prankster, the fool.”
109. Zippy—Bondying!
110. Conan the Barbarian—Arnold Shwarzenneger made him yucky.
111. Doonesbury—most censored, tibak kasi.
112. The New Gods—sayang, it didn’t make money.
113. Tomb of Dracula—where “Blade” got introduced.
114. Jonah Hex—scarred freak of a gunfighter.
115. Swamp Thing—half-man, half plant (like majority of the congresspersons who keep quiet while the country is being raped).
116. The Punisher—starring Dolph Lundgren (B-movie!)
117. Metal Hurlant/Heavy Metal—revolutionized comics graphics.
118. Warlord—sword and sorcery sensation.
119. Howard the Duck—was a “fowl play at the box office” when made into a movie
120. Judge Dredd—his name was resurrected from a horror story.
121. Cerebus the Aadvark—“a funny animal in today’s world of humans.”
122. The Fantastic Four—power times four.
123. The Amazing Spiderman—too much of a super loser as a normal person.
124. The X-Men/The Uncanny X-Men—became popular when they were joined by a Canadian named Wolverine.
125. Spawn—comics’ greatest lover
126. Elfquest—Mahal and Mura’s tribe.
127. For Better or For Worse—humor and heart

128. Garfield—“He defends our right to pig out, sleep in, and be selfish.”

129. The Far Side—geeks’ favorite!

130. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles—started out as a parody to current fads.
131. Calvin and Hobbes—retired at the top in 1995. (Tama ba, Ian Dexter Marquez?)
132. Watchmen—no sequel was produced despite clamor.
133. Maus—literary masterwork.
134. Concrete—thoughtful, gentle rock giant.
135. The Crow—an immediate cult success.
136. Dilbert—scourge of American business.

     There you go.  One hundred glorious years of comic books, newspaper strips, and cartoonists.