Ka-Blog!

  My blog hasn’t been updated for more than two weeks.  In all that time, our award-winning radio program has been axed, we have been falsely charged by a hooded government witness, my name has been included among those accused as seditious against the current disposition, and we’ve been spending our days in fear for our safety.

We could have slinked away, hunkered down and waited out gma’s eventual ouster.  But the regime underestimates us.  Because of its asinine moves, it is giving us chances to become better servants of the people by exposing all the mess it causes.  We’re winning the propaganda war; we’ve been on the papers and on television for several days already.  We denied the witness’ false charges before the Department of (In)Justice and we’ve already asked the courts to declare the continuing harassment against us as a brazen attack on the freedom of the press.  Many media groups here and abroad sent us their statements of support. 

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately on how I could get back at gloria.  The best way I could think at 1:17 in the morning is to have a good laugh despite her messed up efforts to make my life even more harder that it already is.  Aside from being the best medicine, laughter to me is the best defense against insecure presidents.

I am hereby making a list of my most hated and loved persons on television.  I hope it brings a smile on your faces as it did to me while writing this:

Most annoying people I see on television (in no particular order):

1. Ronnie Rickets: always talks to the microphone as if he’s about to give it a karate chop; has more facial contortions than a exclusive school colegiala
2. Michael Fajatin: news reporter who thinks he is the news
3. Winnie Cordero: high pitched voice matches put on smile
4. Mike Enriquez: can’t see that his news reading style is already being made fun of
5. Rey Langit: overly modulated voice straight from hell
6. Tulfo Brothers: can’t talk beyond curses and grunts; all sound like jammed guns; must have cause arthritis to their forefingers for pointing too much
7. Manoling Morato and ilk: sex-centered moralists
8. Leah SalongaL: performance level laugh and diction
9. Sharon Cuneta (sometimes lang naman): hollow sounding guffaw
10. Ricky Reyes: always whines like an alley cat in heat; “f” & “p” defect I can only wish on gloria
11. Kim Atienza: (I got a message from this guy about what I previously wrote here.  I am taking it back.  He is the new Ernie Baron, after all.)
12. Mike Defensor: panggago sa bayan numero uno
13. Toting Bunye: cheekiest of liars
14. Mike Arroyo: huge bulk, tinny voice, voracious appetite
15. Mikey Arroyo: untalented flop movie artist
16. Norberto Gonzales: queer nose identifies him as belonging to a different specie; may be related to monkeys because of fixation to bananas
17. Fr. Sonny Ramirez: hides a pointed tail underneath his habit
18. Mike Velarde: panggago sa nananampalataya numero uno
19. Carmen Ignacio: needs Corega and lobotomy patient maintenance pills
20. Brady Barr: always makes me want to bet on the croc
21. gma: the most hated person in the country; eye-popping negative approval rating says I am right
22. Imelda: everything’s an act
23. Fr. Archie Quiboloy: needs more fiber in his diet
24. Madam Ratcha: number 17’s biggest rival
25. Alex Magno: lusts for number 11’s job—fails miserably
26. Rep. Prospero Nograles: ass kisser numero uno
27. Chairperson Bayani Fernando: bee-stung face; human rights violator
28. Rep. Prospero Pichay: ass kissing didn’t give him the Speakership
29. Speaker Jose de Venecia: talks like a trapo even when talking about daughter who died tragically in a fire
30. Richard Gomez: so much talent but debases himself by singing
31. Joey Marquez: good dramatic actor but sucks at hosting
32. Lito Camo: specially when singing his Datu Puti commercial;
33. Mark Lapid: walang dating
34. Sec. Raul Gonzales: old fart
35. Rep. Raul Gonzales Jr.: sequel to the old fart—stinks just as bad

Lovable people on television (in no particular order):

1.  Iglesia ministers: see number 2

2.  Ely Soriano: see number 1

3.  Ariel, with a capital A: see number 4

4.  Maverick: see number 3

5.  Simon Cowell: he is the American Idol

6.  Elizabeth Ramsey: diva

7.  Melanie Marquez: has more surprises than a Jeffrey Archer story

8.  Ariel Ureta: smooth

9.  Jeremy of Top Gear: top gearhead; funny bloke

10.  Gary Lising: intelligent

11.  Willie Nepomuceno: can make hated politicians lovable somehow

12.  Armida Siguion-Reyna: loves kundiman, Levy Celerio and Gary Granada

13.  Sen.  Juan Flavier: good copy anytime

14.  Informercial hosts: mahirap ang ginagawa nila, ha!